I recently went to the Landmark Forum and there are a series of exercises that you are asked to do in order to complete your past so that you can truly start to reside in the present moment. From your present moment, you can really create any possibility. Part of the exercise is to write a few letters to people you have been inauthentic with in your life and then you share your letter with your partner. It is important for me to share both of my letters here on this blog. The first letter is to my brother, and the second letter is to myself.
What I came to Landmark to accomplish is to improve my communication skills. What I am actually accomplishing is finding out what I'm holding back in my own self-expression in all of my relationships, especially the one with you. the possibility I have invented for myself and my life is the the possibility of being a fully self-expressive and inspiring leader/yoga teacher and leave my fear behind. I feel that being fully expressive means that I have to confront the issues that we have in our family. I want to apologize for not reaching out to you sooner. i feel that I am missing out on being a great Aunt to your kids. I just want you to know that I love you, Nikki, and the kids and I am ready to leave everything behind and start fresh with our family. i would like to extend an invitation to you to get together the next time you're in town to talk.
I love you, Jessica
i came to the Landmark Forum with lululemon athletica and I came here to find out why I react to things the way that I do. What I am actually accomplishing is finding out that we are all scared of being alone and the truth is that there are people all around us...How could anyone ever possibly be alone. It is because we choose to isolate ourselves. The possibility I have invented for myself and my life is to inspire others and make a difference in the world. Through my yoga teachings, i have the power to impact humanity in a positive way by showing people the tools that we all own to be in touch with their true selves. It would be awesome to teach yoga to abused women to so they can find the strength within themselves to lead a pain-free life...to let them know they are not alone.
I have been selfish to you by not sticking to commitments in many areas of life, with friends and family. Through commitment to myself, I can be more committed in other areas of life. I make a commitment to not say "Yes" to everything and everyone and voice my opinion when I am enrolling others in staying true to themselves. I allow other people in my life and give them unconditional love without expecting anything in return. I acknowledge that I can't do everything myself and I invite others in my life to help me when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
i've been resenting that others can do it "better" and I accept that I do it the way I do it and am open to learn new ways to do things. I regret I haven't communicated with an open heart to other people in my life and that is the way to be truly authentic. i realize that at work i have been getting pulled into other people's drams instead of coaching them out. I offer my voice from my heart, from my true self, to stand and be authentic with myself by being t rue in my word to other people. I commit to not worrying about what people think of me and act in a way to positively impact the future of humanity. i invite you to stay committed to this possibility and to your integrity.
i continue to look at this and I know that I have followed through with some of these things, but revisiting this place is important in my personal development. To whoever reads this, thank you for allowing me to share this very tender part of my heart.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
It has taken me over a month to write about the momentous event of being in the presence of the living Guru of Ashtanga Yoga, Sri K Pattabhi Jois. Here he is with his daughter, Saraswathi, at the grand opening of the Ashtanga Research Institute located in Islamorada, FL.
When I bowed before his feet and honored the puja blessing, I can say that I felt like I was a part of a historical event taking place. After I bowed, I gazed into Guruji's eyes, and they were both ethereal and sharp. It was as if I was gazing into an egoless pool of love that had infinite depth, and I immediately was zapped into a state of divine humbleness.
One thing that I learned is that even though I bowed in honor of the lineage that I practice and teach so diligently is that he is but a man. We are all made of the same essence and it is important to see just that. Peeling past the layers of what we deem "is" by what we "think" in our own ego-centered opinions and merely seeing something for its true nature...a mirror of our own state of being.
Posted by Jessica at 3:32 PM