holiday

This time of year everyone gets all freaked out and frantic about the holiday. I just got back from vacation and I highly recommend to anyone to take a holiday this time of year....you need it! Some time without shopping, family, or any engagements. I have this overwhelming sense of peace washing over me....acceptance, I think.... for where I am now. I have this whole lifetime to perfect my yoga practice. I want to be the very best teacher and inspiration that I can be...but i still am human...i am not perfect.

So, I was doing my walking meditation on the beach, right? I started thinking that the beach is really an ocean's graveyard. All of these beautiful little homes for sea creatures were excavated and left on the shore for me to find. And....there is such childlike joy in finding that perfect shell half-buried in the sand at low tide in one of the tide pools....It's like you found some treasure that you didn't know you were searching for until there it is in your hand shining with salt and sand. Funny now that I have the shells back home...they have dulled just a bit, some of the luster left back on that island in the sun.....

Maybe that's how it is when we live our everyday lives....sometimes we get a glimpse of something real inside ourselves, something to keep us connected....and then we get caught up in the whirlwind of our busy bee lives and forget that shiny piece of treasure in our hearts. I was going to say "it's my goal to keep it shiny" but you know....I don't want to make it a goal...because that just means i have to keep grabbing for it. I think I'm going to just try and know it's always there. Maybe it'll work this time.

inspiration

Tim was here this last weekend. What a gift....what a blessing....I have so much gratitude for my teachers in that they arranged for him to be here to shed his light on our studies....and how apropos that it is Thanksgiving week. Great things come to those who create.

New beginnings....Abrupt endings....And Everlasting Momentssss....over and over.....

All that I know is that I was inspired and educated. I was bended and I was broken. I am now aware of all that needs to be tended (for the moment). Awareness is the key. Slow as I go....Letting go of all my tenacity for getting it. Hoping it will just happen....no anticipation....no aspiration....Just willpower.

Just letting it all sink in now......

Stay tuned for Part Dve....

my first time

Today was the first class that I was the teacher....albeit only the Closing Sequence....I've never been excited and anxious about the Closing Sequence of Ashtanga as usually it is the winding down portion of the practice. There was something that came over me though when I was leading the class....it was as if I just stepped out and someone else stepped in and got the job done. I'm trying not to be too self critical at this point because I know I made and will make mistakes. It is inevitable. It is how you learn from the mistakes that is important. I took the first step, though. I dipped my toe in the water....and I thought....it's warm.....I'm jumping in!

On my drive home, I could not wipe the goofy grin off my face...and when I walked in the door.....I just looked at my husband and said, "I just taught my first class. I have to practice." All that nervous energy vanished as I moved through each vinyasa that I just witnessed during class. Watching the intent and hard work, the sweat, the pain, and the surrender is enough to make me a humble student of this amazing practice called Life!

JAI NAMASTE!